Social Distancing

Listen . 

Six feet is hardly enough when you’ve scrolled down your timeline for like the 10th time in this hour alone , only to find the same over circulated meme, coronavirus updates , & tik tok challenges .

I mean is Six feet really enough when you’ve received the 10th text today from family & friends asking how the new baby is & asking for more photos only for you to realize that you haven’t taken one since the last time they asked , but never once have they checked to see how his caregivers are holding up . 

Six feet is certainly not enough when you’ve told baby girl for the 10th time not to touch her brothers mouth , nose or head right now & now he’s coughing & sneezing. 

Six feet isn’t nearly enough when trying to explain to a 3 week old that you have a migraine today . 

Six feet is definitely not enough when you’ve walked from room to room trying to find privacy & alone time , only to be followed .. even to the bathroom . 

& did I mention how Six feet is hardly enough when you’ve made time to cook dinner but don’t actually get to eat it for another 2 hours because your newborn is attached to your breast every 10 minutes & demands your undivided attention . 

& don’t get me started on how Six feet is hardly enough when you’ve finally managed to get the baby to sleep with a full tummy & a clean diaper , only to have him awakened 10 minutes later by your super animated 7 year old . 

Six feet really isn’t enough when you just want to lay up with your partner & chat about everything under the stars , vent even but have to reduce your voices to something lower than a whisper because anything louder than that will wake the sleeping baby you just finally put back down so you end up laying in silence.

Six feet is hardly enough when you hear the news that one of your friends has passed away but you aren’t allowed to attend their funeral because there can’t be gatherings of more than 10 & you’re not immediate family .

Six feet is certainly not enough when you want to bury yourself underneath a blanket & not be bothered for the remainder of the day but you have to show up for not only yourself, but everyone around you . 

Six feet is hardly enough . 

Yet , here we are . . Miles & miles apart & that’s still not enough. Quarantined . No social gatherings , yet at the touch of a button , someone in another time zone can see me face to face & EXPECT me to pick up. FaceTime . 

I just need space time . Because I barely have enough of me to go around for the people who need me .

So please excuse me if I seem socially unavailable.  

I am . 

I’m processing a lot & Social Distancing is essential for me right now .