Changes

Anyone else ever felt scared and tired at the same time? That's me. I have a fear of failure but no urge to be productive. I want friends, but I hate socializing. I beg to be alone, but I don't want to be lonely. I care about everything one minute then care about nothing all in the same breath. I'm feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzing numb.

I am my own enemy right now & the irony of it is that lately the things that have always made me feel the most alive now feel like a chore to do. "What changed?" is always my first question to myself & it is in this very moment that I realize I should be asking myself "What hasn't changed?"